Our weekend in London in numbers

• 20 – cost, in pounds of our return train fare (each)
• 15.1 – miles walked (above the surface)
• 16 – painkillers popped by John (who hurt his back on the way to the train station in Leeds)
• 7 – cost, in pounds, of a sundae in the Haagen Das restaurant (worth it)
• 5 – drinks drunk at The Chandos pub
• 4 – doughnuts eaten (between us)
• 24 – amount of doughnuts bought by the woman behind us in the queue, stocking up for her six hour journey to Devon (she is our new hero)
• 2 – meals eaten in Chinatown
• 5 – amount of times (out of 11) that Big Ben rang while we were standing DIRECTLY underneath it before we actually realised it was ringing
• 3 – scarves bought: one pink/blue, one turquoise and one green/orange
• 7 – cost, in pounds, of a small bottle of beer and half-a-coke at the Hippodrome bar while watching La Cirque
• 10 – inches, the diameter of the tennis racket that Captain Frodo of La Clique squeezed himself through
• 1 – number of joints he had to dislocate to be able to do that
• 0 – the amount of laughs the ‘Viva Croydon’ song in La Cirque elicited from us
• 32.50 – cost, in pounds, of stalls tickets for Spamalot from the tkts booth in Leicester Square
• 2 – the amount of people who pushed in front of me in the drinks buying queue at the Spamalot interval
• 2 – museums visited
• 3.50 – cost, in pounds, of our British Museum guide book
• 2 – time, in minutes, spent looking at British Museum guide book
• 10 – tube stations visited
• 2 – maximum time, in rounded-up minutes, that we had to wait for any tube train (probably more like 90seconds)
• 6 – number of times I jokingly complained about the waiting times on British public transport when arriving on a platform exactly as a train arrived
• 3 – amusing overheards*
• 1 – potential punfolio submissions about ghee

* #1 – “Did you tell her about the death? Oh good.”
#2 – “If we all thought like that, we’d all live in poverty.”
#3 – something in Spanish which we didn’t understand but accompanied by a spanking motion