Things to do in the middle of reading a novel about zombies which has disturbed you more than you’d like to admit:
1) Chop up a lot of braising steak, the bloodier the better
2) After frying said braising steak, add it to thinly sliced red onions fried with a little tomato puree to make a concoction that is somewhat reminiscent of brains
3) Have a dog (or possibly fox) bark in the woods so that your dog gets anxious and starts barking, which starts off the chickens anxiously clucking
4) Have the owner of the dog in the woods have an argument with someone so you can hear raised, but indistinct, human voices at a distance
5) Time all of that with rush hour so the emergency vehicle with its sirens whirring takes close to a decade to pass down the main road
6) Run out of both onions and (ground) cumin. Wonder whether it’s better to live in a world filled with hordes of the undead or try to cook without onions & ground cumin.
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